Bill Murray at MIT

I just wrote this story. There is a website devoted to these stories actually, but this one is mine. Hopefully it gets put up on there. It'd be pretty nice.

One evening during the particularly cold winter of last year I was working late. My classroom, which is on the third floor nearest the teacher's lounge, was warm and wreaked of coffee and dry-erase markers. I had gone through at least 3 markers before reaching the point I was at. I was working on the last piece of my theory that seemed to evade my every attempt at resolution. After many hours, and many attempts there was finally a solution in front of me that seemed like it "fit the bill" so to speak. After another hour or so of reworking the solution over and over and over and I came to the realization that I'd solved the problem. This theory was more than just a math problem. You see, I am the head of the physics department at MIT, and the theory I had just proven would make it possible to run our homes, cars, businesses, cities, everything on small, fail-safe, cold-fusion reactors. You can imagine the overwhelming joy I felt as I had single-handedly solved the energy crisis of this generation. I had to share this with someone. I walked hurriedly down the hall to my colleague Gene Hartman's office, praying he was there. With a sigh of great relief I saw his light on; he was in his office. He had been working late this evening grading papers when I knocked on his door. He welcomed me in and I excitedly told him what had happened, his eyes widening at every detail. After I finished we started towards my office. First we walked, but it very quickly evolved into a fast jog back to my dry-erase board that currently held the solution to the world's need for energy. We had no breath to speak about the possibilities if it was indeed correct. Still winded Gene stared in amazement at the genius of the solution. "Simplicity that even God would appreciate." He started again slowly, "I...I need some coffee. We're not sleeping tonight." As he turned the corner and left the classroom I noticed something moving at the back of the room. There was a man standing in a dark corner. Had he been there all night? How long has he been watching? As he melted out of the shadowed recess it was as if he had been part of the darkness. My heart raced. Stunned, I could not speak. I was struck with horror as I started to recognized this man's bearded face. Slowly stepping into the light revealing small details of his face at a time; his hood kept the light from his eyes. First the light revealed his chin, then his mouth, and by the time the light showed me his nose I knew. I knew it was none other than Bill freaking Murray. He pulled back his hood. At this point I am standing at the door nearly 10ft from the solution that would make me famous and save the world from the grip of a dependency on petroleum. Bill was more than 20ft away just behind the 6th row of chairs. As if with super-human speed he approached the board before I could blink, and the board was empty. I hear Gene coming down the hall but I still can't speak. So quickly I couldn't see it happen Bill was putting himself out of the open window preparing to lower himself down. The cold breeze was chilling on me as I was not dressed for it indoors.  I ran to the window to see if he had fallen, and from the ground floor he looked me dead in the eyes, those cold eyes. With a complex look akin to that of a deer in my headlights he whispered quietly so that I could just barely hear him, "No one will ever believe you," and like an apparition he was gone.


Leave me with your thoughts on this story. i'm going to be writing more of them.

love

Love can be deeper than the deepest ocean or as shallow as a Newport shore. It all depends on whether you can tread the deep waters. When people find love they don't know how to take care of it. It's like a seed. It can grow into a beautiful flowering, fruit bearing plant someday. It can also wither and die if you don't know how to take care of it. Water the plant too much and it drowns. PLANT DEAD. You can deprive the seed of water, and thus the proper nutrients. PLANT DEAD. OR! You can feel the soil every day, and make sure it's damp enough. You can make sure it gets sunlight, and that it is in a happy environment (It's proven that plants with a positive environment grow 5-10X more quickly and they end up being hardier. ) Plants that are well taken care of produce better fruit of it. My point is this: If you love too much and too quickly, or deprive the relationship of a deeper love you will end up losing that desire to be in the relationship. So take your time. You don't need to rush. Fall in love. Slow down. It makes things a million times better; infinitely better in fact.

Sponges

Sponges are...disgusting. When people leave them in the sink for even a brief period of time...they begin to grow colonies of bacteria. These colonies do two things: A. They freak me out, and B. They stink. They smell absolutely putrid. Like...have you ever smelled a dog fart that just lingers? It's worse than that. Sponges should be banned, and people should be required to have, in lou of the sponges, those brushes that you pre-fill with soap. Ahh...the glory of the modern age. Where sponges are out of date. I've heard you can contract weird diseases from loofahs...which sounds totally undesirable.

Today I was driving and I noticed a couple things. People will cut in front of one person thinking it saves them time. So I decided that I'm going to make a sign. On a 10x12 sheet of poster board. It will read: "You cut me off...saved you a lot time huh?" I will use this when I end up getting off the freeway at the same time as them. It will be glorious in every aspect. Also, there are way more crappy cars than nice cars. Why do I think I need a nice car to keep up with the rest of the world?

In Your Dreams You Can Bathe In Chocolate

Dreams are amazing. The human body is amazing too. Our brains never actually shut down. Constantly thinking, constantly growing and constantly changing. Dreams are one of the few things that literally the entire world shares...like eating and wearing athletic cups when it's not required...just in case. We all have dreams; even if we don't remember our dreams.

If you've never experienced a lucid dream you haven't really had a dream that was worth dreaming. When I was younger I would have dreams that seemed so real it was strange. I knew I was dreaming, but I was still sleeping. I could control the dream. I could make people do things. It was a place that was mine to create for my own enjoyment. In a lucid dream you can beat up any bully or drive a Ferrari at Laguna SECA. You can fly and fall and not get hurt. It's an amazing, eye-opening, body/mind synergizing experience.

Now you may be saying, "but Jonathan...that's preposterous. You can't control your dreams." Well it works. It takes some training, some practice (if you will), but it does work. As we grow up we lose the ability to dream lucidly. I contribute this to the fact that as people mature, they're taught that they need to grow up. They're taught that to dream big is only going to bring failure. We lose our imagination to some degree. I consider this a safety mechanism that is intended to keep us from disappointment. That's why I am absolutely infatuated with lucid dreaming. It keeps the kid in you alive. Check it out here Lucid Dreaming for dummies.

Try it for a few weeks. Do the reality checks, practice, and really put yourself into it. The payoff is immense, and well worth the 10 min (max) per day it takes to develop the skill.

<Peace/Love

Blogging

As it happens I used to blog on MySpace. Over time though my reality changed. I was growing up, and sadly MySpace wasn't. Alas, I had grown out of MySpace...and into Facebook. The difference between the two is simple: Facebook is for grown ups! No ranting and raving without every person you know asking if you're alright. No cursing, or talking about things you don't want your boss to see. It's very restrictive. Very confining. So what better way to cure writers block, and let loose than to write to a bunch of people you don't know?? Exactly...if you said, "Well there isn't a better way." Then you are correct. Much love. Keep reading because things are bound to get more interesting than my first post.



Peace